Welcome to the Female Stoic podcast.My name is Stephanie Poppins and I am an advocate for literary empowerment.That means I believe the example set by the literary masters can broaden life perspective, create increased self-awareness, and empower us to overcome the obstacles we encounter here in the 21st century.

 

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By listening and referring what we hear to Stoic philosophy, we can foster a strong sense of self and navigate the world more effectively.This podcast takes the form of both discussions and meditations, and if you like what you hear, you might consider looking me up on my socials where I post empowering videos every day.

 

 

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Or you may like my classic audiobooks and original stories available on my website, newworldbooks.uk.Happy listening.

 

 

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And welcome to another episode of the Female Stoic Podcast.And today we are talking about how to deal with injustice as a stoic, how to cope with injustice.And we will be referring to the fairy tale Cinderella by Charles Perrault.

 

 

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Now, there are many different versions of Cinderella, but this is perhaps the most popular.As you know, each week I receive questions or DMS from people and this one featured today is from Kyra in London.

 

 

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She says she's been betrayed recently by a close friend and to add insult to injury, this friend then turn the whole situation around on her so that she was somehow to be blamed for their bad behaviour.We've all been there.

 

 

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Kyra says she always tries her best to be stoic in situations like these, but injustice is so triggering for her as she suffered it from her family to in the past.Thank you Kyra for sending that into the podcast.

 

 

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So as you know, each week we refer to one of my audiobook series.This one is Cinderella, part of my Fairy Tales, Myths and Legends series.Check out the playlists here on Insight Timer.So as I said before, there were very many versions of Cinderella, but arguably the best version was written by Charles Perrault in 1697 in title Cinderella or Sindurion or The Little Glass Slipper.

 

 

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Earlier versions date back to as far as the 7th century BCE.Now Perot's version was probably more popular because it introduced iconic elements such as the Fairy Godmother, the pumpkin carriage, the glass slipper.

 

 

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Injustice features quite heavily in Cinderella, and it also as a fairy tale, addresses her Stoic treatment of such.So let's recap the story.

 

 

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Cinderella is a kind young woman who requires a whole new family after her mother dies and her father remarries, she's then mistreated by her cruel stepmother and step sisters rather unjustly.She's not portrayed as having done anything particularly wrong, they just don't like her.

 

 

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And with the help of a fairy godmother, she magically manages to attend a royal bull, fall in love with the Prince, and of course, she has to flee at midnight, leaving behind her glass slipper.The Prince then searches the Kingdom for the woman whose foot fits the slipper.

 

 

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He eventually finds Cinderella and marries her.So where are the instances of injustice in this fairy tale?Well, she's enslaved by her stepmother and step sisters.

 

 

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She's forced to do chores and sleep in the ashes, earning her the name Cinderella.And yet she hasn't really done anything wrong.She's not permitted the luxury her step sisters are afforded.Her stepmother says to her she cannot go to the ball.

 

 

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And arguably worst of all, her father fails to acknowledge what's going on.Cinderella is also hidden from view when the Prince comes to find his girl.And yet, throughout, Cinderella transforms what might have been seen as a passive story into a narrative of profound inner strength, resilience, and moral clarity in the face of injustice.

 

 

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This is not just a rags to riches story.It's a lesson maintaining virtue, patience and dignity under extreme adverse conditions, which is what fairy tales were designed to do at that time.

 

 

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So to go back to the question, Kyra says she suffered injustice from more than one source in her life, and this resonates here.Quote The poor girl bore all patiently and dared not tell her father, who would have rattled her off, for his wife governed him entirely.

 

 

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Marcus Aurelius says you can also commit injustice by doing nothing, and that's exactly what the character of her father did.She's experiencing this at the hands of her father and also the questioner has said she's experienced this in the past.

 

 

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The lack of support from family members when one key member ostracises you can feel devastating.But this behaviour, as we know, is outside of her circle of control.

 

 

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Even though she's decided to embrace Stoic philosophy and understands there's nothing she can do about it, it still triggers her though when she's faced with similar treatment.When we consider Marcus Aurelius's quote suggesting that passive inaction in the face of wrongdoing is morally equivalent to causing it, we understand that actually injustice has many faces.

 

 

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In the terms of her past familial situation, ignoring the issue, lacking the courage to intervene by other family members, or remaining silent made them complicit in the injustice she suffered.

 

 

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So what should she do when this comes up again in her life?When it comes up in our lives, well, it's up to us to understand that many people are weak.Weakness is not limited to those at a distance from us.

 

 

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It can be anybody.It can be those closest to us.Anyone can be weak.Anyone can choose to enable others.Anyone can support others who ostracize, abuse, gossip, defame anyone.

 

 

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This is outside of our control.How people around us choose to behave is outside of our circle of control.As we know, we have a dichotomy of control.Everything inside the circle we can control is our virtue and the way we react to things, and that's it.

 

 

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Which doesn't seem like very much, but actually it is empowering.That is where the power lies.Not to rail against the fact that everything is outside of our control, but to understand this is the only control I have.

 

 

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I accept that.I acknowledge that.I come to that humbly and I work with what I have, not what I want.And in the case of Cinderella and Chyra, I always say the powers in the paws.

 

 

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When we are too close to something, when it affects us very deeply, if we are triggered by that, our immediate response would be to react to that thing, creating a pause.A distance between the action and our reaction protects our inner citadel.

 

 

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It keeps the walls high so that we remain safe.The only way we can prevent reactivity or do our best to slow it down is by creating a pause, creating a distance between what other people are doing and how we respond to that.

 

 

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In the case of the character Cinderella, she had to come to the sad realisation her father was weak and by his actions he enabled her stepmother to be abusive.He wanted an easy life, one in which he did not have to take sole responsibility for the care of his daughter.

 

 

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In the case of the stepmother, she could not bear the good qualities of this newly acquired daughter, not just because they made her own daughters appear them more odious, but because she couldn't break her.

 

 

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She was threatened not just by her beauty, but her demeanour, her kindness, her unwavering commitment to her virtue.So she attempted to destroy this by employing her in the meanest work of the house, scouring the dishes, cleaning the tables.

 

 

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Quote by Perot Cinderella scrubbed madam's chamber and those of missus her daughter's she lay up in a sorry Garret upon a wretched straw bed.This form of injustice is discrimination, a failure by the stepmother to address Cinderella's needs or in fact, treat her equally.

 

 

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It's injustice because through Cinderella's actions, she has done nothing to warrant that.And this is what Kyra is experiencing.Ah, it's coming up again.

 

 

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She's saying, somebody's doing this to me again.And in my experience, when you remain stoic, the attacks come more, the attacks on your inner peace, because you are a challenge.

 

 

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If you are seen to be calm, it's a challenge to rile you, to press your buttons, to see what reaction, because your reaction is a dopamine hit.It's a flashing light.

 

 

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It's a little click in the brain of those around you.It's saying we've got something from this.If you give nothing, it's very hard then for the people around you who are seeking to create a reaction to then gain anything from you.

 

 

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But it's very difficult to protect that in a citadel.It takes work, daily work, daily endeavour.As I always say with the journalling which we do every week, the more you can do it the better.To check in with your higher self every day will help in this endeavour.

 

 

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And the question here is what power did Cinderella actually have?What could she have done differently?Could she in fact have done anything differently?We say at Stoics the answer lies within ourself.

 

 

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The fundamental answer to achieving happiness and peace and virtue lies within ourself.What she could have done, she did.Why?Because she's the protagonist.She's set up by Perot as a virtuous, kind, keen spirited and benevolent person.

 

 

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So she understood in this story she could not control the external actions of her father or her step family.But she had authority over her own mind and what she choose to do.She chose to stay kind.She chose to remain the character she always was.

 

 

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She didn't change because if she had changed, that would have been a reaction.It's depicted so beautifully in this fairy tale, Perot said of her attitude to helping her step sisters.Cinderella was likewise called up to them to be consulted in all these matters, for she had excellent notions and advised them always for the best and offered her service to dress their heads, which they were very willing she should do.

 

 

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Anyone but Cinderella would have dressed their heads awry, he says.Now, of course, when we are faced with the challenge and then we are called upon to help the person who's challenged us, it's very difficult to turn the other cheek.

 

 

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But these fairy tales are he to educate, entertain and emotionally guide us.They teach us moral lessons.They are guidance.And this is what the Stoic philosophy is.But it's not a judgement, it's an understanding that we need a framework to work within.

 

 

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And we refer to that framework as Stoics is practising Stoics as much as we can.We don't always triumph, but these lessons are cultural tools.

 

 

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They instill values, kindness, bravery, honesty.And they provide also comfort.Because this happily ever after structure, this the protagonist always wins, reaffirms the moral we are being taught.

 

 

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And of course, this is a cautionary tale.It's teaching us right from wrong.It's encouraging positivity, but it's warning us of the dangers of reactivity.If Cinderella had reacted to her step sisters the way they reacted to her, she would have become yet another step sister.

 

 

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There will be 3 step sisters.So let's have a look at Cinderella, her philosophy.

 

 

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She's not trying to change her stepmother.She's not trying to stop her step sisters from acting cruelly.So in the case of the questioner Kyra, I would suggest don't waste your energy trying to change the behaviour.

 

 

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Spend your energy protecting your inner citadel and adopting A stance that protects you against the behaviour.We understand that many of us are challenged at different times.

 

 

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We're going through different challenges and we react in different ways.But it's up to each of us to protect our inner citadel and protect ourselves against the behaviours of others if they are detrimental to our inner peace.

 

 

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So that's what Cinderella's doing here.She's focusing her energy on her own actions, her own attitudes and emotional responses.A morpharty in Stoic philosophy means love of fate and we understand that we have no power other than finding meaning within our lot in life.

 

 

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There is in fact no power in desiring for things to be different that are beyond our circle of control.Because if we neglect our power within our circle of control and we react to situations around us and actually place our fate outside of our circle of control, we are handing our power over to other people and other circumstances.

 

 

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We can't control anything external to our virtue and the way we react to things.We can't.So if we want to be at peace, we must understand that there's a certain level of acceptance.

 

 

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Kyra, in order to be at peace, has to work with what she's got, not with what she wants.The best revenge, Marcus Aurelius says, is to be unlike him who performed the injustice.And we remember that we are not maintaining power or protecting ourselves if we are also proponents of injustice.

 

 

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If we look at Cinderella, she's taking action.She's not being passive, she's taking action by choosing every day to remain true to her virtue, because ultimately, this will afford her a way out.

 

 

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It's arguably, in these fairy tales, much more endearing to be kind and patient than to be bitter or resentful.And therein lies her beauty.When I say within the fairy tale, what I mean is the fairy tale is all about the pretty girl getting her man.

 

 

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And that's why she's shut up and hidden away from the world.Because her step family, by their actions, are acknowledging the sheer power of her existence and so they are reminded of their shortcomings every day.

 

 

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If they were to become active practices of Stoicism, they would embrace who their new family member was, learn lessons from her behaviour and practice kindness.

 

 

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The injustice would then cease.But you do have to be courageous and strong to maintain the protection of your inner peace, regardless of what's happening around you.

 

 

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You do, and we have to acknowledge that this is a challenge every day.Obviously Cinderella is set up and triumphs because she manages within the context of the story to do this.

 

 

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But real life is somewhat different.Yes, we have injustice.Yes, we can refer to these stories, but there are so many challenges every day, it's quite difficult just to whittle it down into one or another challenge.

 

 

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There are many things demanding me activity all the time.So we don't want a sugarcoat this and we don't want to make it look easy, because it's not.This is simplistic.

 

 

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It's a fairy tale.But the principle here remains the same.You can commit an injustice by doing nothing.So if we are a victim of injustice, we take action in order to protect our inner citizen.

 

 

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And we also take active steps not to commit injustice ourselves, so not to enable others injustice by not standing up for what's right.We also have to be true to our inner virtue so we don't ignore injustice just because it's done to someone else, is what I'm saying here in this story.

 

 

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Cinderella's father's as much a fault as her stepmother, arguably.So it's up to us to understand in day-to-day life, are we enabling, we questioning ourselves?The answer is coming from looking at how we are.

 

 

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Are we enabling bad behaviour?Are we enabling justice ourselves?When faced with injustice, how are we protecting ourselves?Marcus Aurelius says live out your life in truth and justice, tolerant of those who are neither true nor just.

 

 

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We have to maintain a tolerance and Cinderella, practice tolerance.She's waiting quietly for the opportunity to escape, and then she takes it as soon as it's afforded her.And there is always an opportunity to escape, to move away, to detach yourself from the behaviour.

 

 

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And when that opportunity comes, that is what you do.Therein lies your power, Marcus Aurelius says.Whenever someone has done wrong by you, immediately consider what notion of good or evil they had in doing it.

 

 

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For when you see that, you'll feel compassion instead of astonishment or rage.Cinderella in this story understood what was going on.She agreed to show kindness, to maintain her virtue, but she understood that she didn't want to remain in that environment.

 

 

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It wasn't any good for her.She understands that her step sisters are challenged and she seeks to help them, but she doesn't want to become like them.She doesn't want to ingratiate herself because it doesn't represent or align with her higher self.

 

 

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And once the injustice has taken place, compassion after the fact is within our power to choose.We don't have to do anything, but this is within our power.And that's the point here.

 

 

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Wait it out when you feel powerless to move, safe in the knowledge you are in the driving seat.You but take your inner citadel.You wait it out, but you make sure you're not being too reactive.You're creating a distance.

 

 

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And as Seneca says, injustice never rules forever.So today in our journals, we might want to jot these points down.It's a note taking exercise today, and there are four different points I'd like you to remember.

 

 

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Do not be passive.Fight injustice where possible, but fight it in a stoic way.Exercise compassion over anger.View wrongdoers as misguided rather than evil, understand their weaknesses and focus on your own virtue as obviously you cannot control the actions of other people.

 

 

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To conclude, when life is unfair, Cinderella does not dwell in despair.She does experience sadness, and we're not negating the significance of that, but ultimately she embraces her reality.

 

 

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She continues to act with grace.She finds joy in the present.It's what she in what she's doing at the time.Instead of allowing her situation to make her bitter, she befriends animals.

 

 

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She finds joy in singing, and these hobbies enrich her inner life regardless of her external surroundings.This is not merely a story about a girl who gets rescued, but it's a tale about a character who wins because she remains uncorrupted by her suffering.

 

 

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She uses her inner strength to outlast her circumstances.She begins the story in an undesirable situation, but she doesn't try to change her stepmother.

 

 

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She doesn't try to come up with schemes to regain what she's lost.She doesn't become embittered.She's not complaining, but she remains focused.There will be a way forward and I have to accept this and work with it while it's happening.

 

 

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But it will not always be like this.And that's the point of today.Have courage, be kind, maintain the strength of your inner citadel.And the truth will out and I'll see you again next time.

 

 

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Bye.Hey, Stephanie here.Thank you for listening to the Female Stoic podcast.It is an honour.And I just want to say I really appreciate you being here.

 

 

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It's amazing the power of women in literature and the stoic messages they have to share.Please, if you can, return the favour by spreading their words and sharing this podcast far and wide so more of us can benefit from their wisdom.

 

 

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And don't forget to leave a review if you like what you've heard.See you next time.