Welcome to the Female Stoic podcast.My name is Stephanie Poppins and I am an advocate for literary empowerment.That means I believe the example set by the literary masters can broaden life perspective, create increased self-awareness, and empower us to overcome the obstacles we encounter here in the 21st century.

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By listening and referring what we hear to Stoic philosophy, we can foster a strong sense of self and navigate the world more effectively.This podcast takes the form of both discussions and meditations, and if you like what you hear, you might consider looking me up on my socials where I post empowering videos every day.

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Or you may like my classic audiobooks and original stories available on my website, newworldbooks.uk.Happy listening.

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Hello and welcome to today's episode of the Female Stoic Podcast.Today's episode is entitled How to Deal with Numbness of Emotion as a Stoic and we're focusing on determination of character.

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We will be looking at how to develop a Stoic determination to deal with challenging events, and we will be referring to the Victorian poet Elizabeth Barrett Browning.Born in 18 O 6 Browning built on the intellectual foundations laid by 18th century blue stocking culture, and she evolved into more of a feminist approach to authorship as she completed her poetry and various literary works.

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And if you're interested in the work of the female literary masters, check out my many audiobooks available wherever you listen to audiobooks.So as you know, each week we begin with a question.

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And this week's question was sent in anonymously from Houston in Texas.It's wonderful to realise how long a reach the Female Stoic Podcast has.So thank you for that.Today's questioner says she has lost the ability to feel recently.

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She's become very numb and wants to understand the stoic implications of this.She calls this numbness a blessed relief, but acknowledges it's the manifestation of something deeper.And she needs to be determined enough to face it, she says, rather than avoid it as she has been doing.

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The idea that you can feel so much so that all at once you feel nothing is what she's talking about.And the questioner feels this is a result of overwhelm by the restrictions placed upon her by her family's expectations.

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So what is numbness?Well, numbness describes a state of dissociation, of course, by overwhelming stress, trauma or burnout, where the nervous system shuts down and switches to survival mode.Of course, this is not a place we would wish to be as Stoics, not something we would ever want to get to.

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But we realise that Stoicism is a practice, an ongoing endeavour and a daily commitment.And we're not making judgements about our failures here, but we're seeking to educate ourselves on the best way forward using Stoic tools to help us.

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So Stoic determination is what we're talking about here, a determination to keep our emotions in check and be able to manage them.So we don't get to this point where we are so overwhelmed that we actually shut down.

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And who more determined than Elizabeth Barrett Browning to refer to as far as Stoic determination goes?Now, if you don't know anything about Elizabeth Barrett Browning, she was a towering intellectual figure of the Victorian era, part of the ongoing evolution of female intellectualism and literary networks the 18th century Blue Stockings initiated.

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She displayed strong Stoic traits, cultivating inner resilience and purposeful silence.Despite the challenges placed upon her in her familial setting, she viewed happiness as a moral duty.

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She embraced life with profound emotional discipline and restraint, and often chose to preserve her energy rather than engage in antagonistic pursuits, Epictetus says.

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First say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do.Elizabeth Barrett Browning knew that she would be, in spite of her challenges, a poet, and she was determined to become who she was anyway.

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Now, when we refer to this quote by epicteters, we understand he's emphasizing A determination to focus on the response we have to events rather than the events themselves, as this will afford us greater clarity of mind and lead us to the ultimate goal, which is inner peace.

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Let's take a look at the life of Elizabeth Barrett Browning and the challenges that she faced.It was Victorian London, she was 39 years old and she was dying, or so everyone believed.For years she'd been trapped in her room at 50 Wimpole St., an invalid confined to a sofa, surviving on morphine and laudanum.

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Her spine had been damaged in a horse accident at 15.Or perhaps it was her lungs, or maybe her nerves.The doctors couldn't quite agree, but they all did agree that she wouldn't last much longer.

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Elizabeth's father, Edward Moulton Barrett, controlled everything.He was a wealthy tyrant and ruled his twelve children with absolute authority.He was an autocrat in every sense of the word, and his most rigid rule was none of his children were permitted to marry ever.

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In spite of this, Elizabeth was determined to fulfil her destiny and she wrote poetry as a way to express herself, extraordinary poetry that made her one of the most celebrated poets in England, more famous at the time than Tennyson himself.

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But of course she wrote this from a place of physical confinement.Then one day a letter arrived.It said, I love your verses with all my heart, dear Miss Barrett.This was from Robert Browning, a younger poet whose work Elizabeth admired.

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She wrote back, and that single exchange became 574 letters over 20 months.Robert's letters were philosophical yet playful.They treated Elizabeth not as an invalid but as an equal.

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And he asked to visit her.She refused.She was too I'll, she said, too reclusive, too ashamed of her weakness.Yet Robert insisted.When they finally met in May 1845, he didn't see a dying woman in a darkened room.

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He saw Elizabeth Barrett, brilliant, fierce, with an ironclad determination.But her confinement was real.He proposed, and she said it was impossible.Her father would never allow it, even if they could escape his control.

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She was too sick to be anyone's wife.But Robert said, you are the strongest person I know.He saw her determination against all the odds, and he fell in love with it.They then began planning in secret and on September the 12th, 1846, Elizabeth walked to Saint Marylebone Parish Church with her maid and met Robert Browning.

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There they married with only two witnesses.Afterwards, Elizabeth walked back to 50 Wimpole St. ate dinner with her family, went to her room and acted as if nothing had happened.

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What a determined woman.For a week she maintained the fiction, the dutiful invalid too weak to leave her sofa.Then one night she simply left.She took her loyal spaniel, a few belongings and Robert Browning's hand.

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They crossed the English Channel and disappeared into Europe.Of course, her father disowned her instantly.He returned all her letters unopened and never spoke her name again.When Elizabeth tried to reconcile years later, he refused.

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But meanwhile, Elizabeth discovered she was not dying after all.The sun, the warmth of Florence in Italy, the freedom from her father's house, and Robert, the man she loved, helped her recover.

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He treated her as the determined warrior she had always been, and the woman who'd been bedridden for years began walking, travelling and really living.In 1849, at age 43, she gave birth to their son, something she thought she would never have done.

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And then she wrote poem after poem after poem.Sonnets from the Portuguese became some of the most famous love poems in the English language, not because they were sweet, but because they were true.These weren't poems about being rescued.

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They were poems about discovering.She was determined all along.In Italy, Elizabeth became politically active, passionately supporting Italian unification.She wrote about Italian revolution, she wrote The Runaway Slave at Pilgrim's Point, a searing anti slavery poem despite her family's wealth coming from plantations, and she was considered for poet Laureate, absolutely unheard of at that time for a woman.

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Her husband Robert, meanwhile, never overshadowed her.He celebrated her work, he championed her voice and stood beside her as an equal partner.So let's consider what an achievement this was.

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The most radical act can be simply choosing to distance yourself.As I always say, the power is in the pause.She distanced herself from the antagonism and she manifested the person that she was destined to be.

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So to go back to the question, Anonymous from Houston says she's lost the ability to feel.She's become very numb.She wants to understand the stoic implications of this.She believes it's as a result of cultural and societal expectations placed upon her by her family, so her numbness is a protective mechanism.

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Her nervous system is shutting down to keep her safe from feeling too much pain, and this is not uncommon.As Stoics, we understand, though, that we're not negating the value of emotional response.

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We're seeking to ensure it's not born of reactivity, but given its own space in which to exist.Elizabeth Barrett Browning created that space.If she had become overwhelmed and not used her poetry as an outlet, she may not have survived long enough to meet Robert.

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She was creating by her actions, albeit small, a safe, controlled space in which her emotions could express themselves.If she hadn't have done this, she would perhaps have gone mad.She certainly would never have met her husband.

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And how do we heal from this numbness?Well, we have to gently reconnect, little by little.This we can do by finding an outlet for our emotions.Such as journaling, writing, drawing, painting, etcetera.

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If we can refuse to react to the world and instead act from our inner conviction, the world has to bow to our intention.And this is what we see in the example of Elizabeth Barrett Browning.

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What are we saying to ourselves in silence?What mood do we entertain when no one else is looking?This is the root of what we can harvest, what we can use to support ourselves.And this is where we must begin.

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Despite being bedridden for years, Elizabeth Barrett Browning learned to maintain a cheerful demeanour and believed the world appeared to her more beautiful in proportion to her limitations, she wrote.

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Silence is the best response to a fool.She was not reacting against her father's limitations that he imposed upon her, and this sentiment echo Stoic principles of reserving our energy for worthy pursuits and refusing to be provoked by external forces.

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Browning maintained composure and self-control over responding emotionally to challenges.She channelled her emotion into her art and she practised finding strength in those quiet moments where she was focusing on her art.

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She believed that emotional maturity involved recognizing which battles to fight and which battles to avoid.This saved her.So her life was an active application of cultivating internal calm.

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And this is the key here.She understood her limitations whilst in her father's house, but she accepted her limitations and worked with what she had.Where there was a will, there was certainly a way.

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Rather than rail against the injustice, she empowered herself.She gave herself a voice and a means of expression through poetry, much like Emily Dickinson.And if you haven't heard that episode, take a listen.

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So what is Browning teaching us here?She's teaching us the value of an emotional channel that she created.We can channel our emotions in our determination to protect our inner citadel.

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Why do we need to do this?Because if they're not channelled, if they're not managed, they can overwhelm us, leading to this numbness that the questioner is speaking about.If we engage with someone who is arguing without understanding who is being antagonistic, it is draining our energy and ultimately it leads nowhere.

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In this instance, silence becomes a powerful tool because it refuses to validate the antagonism.It protects our peace and preserves our dignity.

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And in Stoics, of course, we understand wisdom is often found in what we choose not to say.Fun fact here, unlike many earlier women writers who use pseudonyms, Elizabeth Barrett Browning always published under her own name, asserting her status as a professional author.

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Epicteter says no person is free who is not a master of himself.And this is exactly what she did.She mastered herself.Physically, she was limited mentally, she was in control.

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So what are we saying here?We're saying we must identify and separate matters so that we can say to ourselves, what are externals, what are external forces, what's not under my control?And what?

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Do I have to do with the choices I can control?There is an element of Stoic acceptance here.So let's talk about our journal task for today.

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As you know, on the Female Stoic Podcast, each week we have a journal task and today in your journal I would like you to identify the trigger.Reflect on when the numbness started or when your sense of overpowering emotions overcame you.

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When did that start?Was it after a specific event or was it a slow build up of stress?As we know, practising regularly, a daily discipline, a daily check in can help us stay on top of this build up of emotion if we list the routines that are nourishing us.

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Investing in time to cook proper meals rather than relying on the microwave, for example.Ensuring we are getting quality sleep.Channelling our energy into hobbies, time in nature, listening to music.

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These routines we can check into and remind ourselves to do regularly to support us in our Stoic endeavours.Elizabeth Barrett Browning said let no one till his death be called unhappy.

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Measure not the work until the day's out and the labour is done.There is a Stoic positivity here.There is an understanding of limitation and there's a working within that limitation.

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She understood that true happiness can only be evaluated when the labour and she's talking about life here is done.So instead of yearning for that true happiness, working within your limitations to achieve contentment as much as you can each day.

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In this quote she's comparing human life to a day's work and she's saying 1 cannot judge the quality of a whole day by looking at a struggling morning or a difficult afternoon.The day in this quote is implying the lifespan and labour is referring to the experiences, toils and trials that we face.

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Every day.We will have challenges every day, we will have restrictions put upon us and the ultimate value of our life, she's saying in its totality, is to be focused on rather than those individual moments.

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Again, to go back to the quote, let no one till his death be called unhappy.Measure not the work until the day's out and the labour is done.She's suggesting that life is dynamic until the very end.

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There is always hope and she is with this perspective, encouraging patience with ourselves and empathy towards those facing current hardships.The true measure of life, she's saying here, can only be taken at it's end, and this is such a profound demonstration of optimism and wisdom.

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No matter how difficult the struggle she faced, she is saying, it's never too late to turn the labour of life into something purposeful.Earth's crammed with heaven, she said, and every common Bush of fire with God.

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But only he who sees takes off his shoes.The rest sit around and pluck blackberries.Elizabeth Barrett Browning So going back to the question, numbness for her is a protective mechanism.

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Her nervous system is shutting down to keep her safe and feeling too much pain, and this has come about from an extended build up of pressure and her allowing external forces over a long period of time to finally overpower her.

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So in conclusion, keep journaling, keep practising, channel your energy into a hobby, into an active pursuit of something that brings you calm.

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And of course, catch up with my previous episodes in audiobooks to work on your Stoic empowerment every day.And I'll see you next time on the Female Stoic Podcast.

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Hey Stephanie here, thank you for listening to the Female Stoic Podcast.It is an honour and I just want to say I really appreciate you being here.It's amazing the power of women in literature and the stoic messages they have to share.

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Please, if you can, return the favour by spreading their words and sharing this podcast far and wide so more of us can benefit from their wisdom.And don't forget to leave a review if you like what you heard.See you next time.